Sunday, August 30, 2009
Life
I've seen so many people tell me how I should feel..what I should do..how I should deal with whatever..Im tired of it..I believe that we all were dealt a deck of cards..every hand is different..Depending on what hand of cards you're given determines how you will percieve your life. A person that has a great hand can't tell me shit about my hand when i know i was given a challenge. I might not have the worst life or the best life..but I will never tell someone with a serious disease that they can die from that they should "put on a happy face"..There are people that put on a face for show..and then there are people that are just born lucky and happy go lucky...I am not the happy go lucky person...In fact the only thing i can relate to is struggle..Any kind of struggle..for me that is reality..I look up to the people that have struggled and got through to the other side and they use what they learned to educate people...Take what you've learned through your hardships and help someone that is in a position that used to be you..Some people might call me a kill joy or joy kill..I really don't care..but lets be real..People want to tell you how great their life is but they don't want to tell you how they got there...Educate people for God's sake..Half of the shit I've been through I don't think anyone would put on a happy face about..How many of you have gone through a trauma ? How many of you have been victimized?..How many have pressure to be great when someone expects you to fail? How many of you have had to constantly build your self esteem from scratch over and over again? Im trying to be more optimistic in my life..but its not easy when you're a prisoner to a very shaky past..I honestly think the only thing that keeps me from giving up is God..God I don't know how many times I could of died..or almost died...Without God I don't know where i would be.Its very hard to be optimistic when you have a crap load of baggage sitting on your shoulders..So much I need to let go of..To any and all of you reading this..If you have baggage from your past that you need to let go..Let it go here..maybe I will let mine go too
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I agree with you on the fact that no one should tell you how to feel. You are a compilation of your life’s experiences, and I have not lived your life, nor has anyone else. I believe also, that everyone has a hand to play, but I believe that by the choices you make, you change the game. Be it ever so slightly, or drastically, depends on you.
ReplyDeleteI’ve known many people that from the first glance, seemed to have gotten the best hands possible, but that doesn’t hide them from their own issues. Sometimes, they are even more messed up from it.
For me, I think I’ve had struggles in my life, but you may look at my life as an easy ride…who knows what heartache each person carries?
I don’t think of you as a kill joy at all. You are where you are…and the only person that can change your outlook is you…I think you’re like everyone else, with good days and bad days…I guess the secret is to try to have more good days.
In my family, I am the first person to finish high school. I was the first person to not work a lifetime in the same job. My grandmother was a Bell telephone operator all her life and my grandfather was a bank courier. They had 11 kids, and still had to take in borders to pay the mortgage on the house. My parents both have grade 6 educations, and both are very handicapped in the outlooks that they have on the world. They see everyone and everything as a threat to them. I just couldn’t live that way.
For me, God outlines the game’s rules, and then watches to see what efforts you put forth. He puts up brick walls to see how bad you want something. I will try everything I need to do to succeed at something, and when I’m done with options that I know of, then I’ll ask for help from someone else. If it’s not meant to be, it not meant to be, but damn it, I have given it EVERYTHING I had to try to succeed.
I have baggage just like everyone else, but I try to work it out. I have friends from many walks of life…from ministers to dealers and addicts. With each one comes a new lesson.
I have a teacher who once told me that we “choose” our parents because specific lessons we have lessons to learn on earth. It took me a long time to wrap my head around that.
I try to live by the motto, “it is what it is.”
I try not to read into things…I try not to judge anyone else’s choices, I just want to be an ear to hear and a hand to help out if that’s what is needed.
I love you for the person you are, I just want you to be happy!