Sunday, August 30, 2009

Life

I've seen so many people tell me how I should feel..what I should do..how I should deal with whatever..Im tired of it..I believe that we all were dealt a deck of cards..every hand is different..Depending on what hand of cards you're given determines how you will percieve your life. A person that has a great hand can't tell me shit about my hand when i know i was given a challenge. I might not have the worst life or the best life..but I will never tell someone with a serious disease that they can die from that they should "put on a happy face"..There are people that put on a face for show..and then there are people that are just born lucky and happy go lucky...I am not the happy go lucky person...In fact the only thing i can relate to is struggle..Any kind of struggle..for me that is reality..I look up to the people that have struggled and got through to the other side and they use what they learned to educate people...Take what you've learned through your hardships and help someone that is in a position that used to be you..Some people might call me a kill joy or joy kill..I really don't care..but lets be real..People want to tell you how great their life is but they don't want to tell you how they got there...Educate people for God's sake..Half of the shit I've been through I don't think anyone would put on a happy face about..How many of you have gone through a trauma ? How many of you have been victimized?..How many have pressure to be great when someone expects you to fail? How many of you have had to constantly build your self esteem from scratch over and over again? Im trying to be more optimistic in my life..but its not easy when you're a prisoner to a very shaky past..I honestly think the only thing that keeps me from giving up is God..God I don't know how many times I could of died..or almost died...Without God I don't know where i would be.Its very hard to be optimistic when you have a crap load of baggage sitting on your shoulders..So much I need to let go of..To any and all of you reading this..If you have baggage from your past that you need to let go..Let it go here..maybe I will let mine go too