Monday, June 22, 2009

I need help

I either barely talk about it or don't talk about it at all.. I live in an apartment that some of my family lived in until they got old enough to move out and leave.Though we called this my grandmother's apartment..then she died I think when I was 12...After that it was my mother, my aunt , and I all in this apartment..three bedrooms..don't ask me how we all fit in here...In 2006 my mom died from Diabetic complications..and I was left with tons of clothes and medical equipment ..a camode(portable toilet)..a hospital bed..a wheelchair...a prosthetic leg (she was an amputee from the diabetes)..a huge box of gauze bandages..etc...It took me awhile to go in her room...then it took me awhile to look at her stuff..then my aunt started to mention to me "its time to pack up her stuff"..this was like 2008..my aunt was also an ill person (diabetes and kidney failure and other things)..so she had a home attendant go in my mom's room and pack up clothes and put them in boxes..we were supposed to get the Salvation Army to come get that stuff...never got them over here...then at the end of 2008 in December my aunt passed away..We still don't know what from..her sugar was very low and she had this condition called nephrogenic systemic fibrosis..we got an autopsy done and haven't found out results yet..Well after she died I was left with another camode..much more clothing...a walker..canes..loads more of stuff...my aunt was a pack rat...Again it took me awhile to go into my aunt's room..and now i can..but I dont' know what to do with all this stuff...There are old clothes she never wore...this camode she used..loads of stuff..I don't know where to throw some of this stuff out at..i don't know what can be donated..I have no idea...at the same time I am trying to get a transfer to another neighborhood..because i have a three bedroom..and need to transfer to a one bedroom...I am so frustrated..I am angry that my mom and aunt both died and saddened by it..but im also angry that I have to figure out what to do with all this stuff..plus I have closets filled with old childhood toys from my childhood and other family members...I don't know who to call..or what to do..I feel like im a prisoner to all of these things...and I want out...My family hasn't stepped in to help...My sister is in Miami but she came to visit here a few months ago and picked through things that she wanted...she told me to throw everything out..I have to think about two things..what can I throw out..and how i will have money to move...at the same time I am emotionally attached because I feel like im throwing my aunt and my mom away...I have gotten physically ill over what to do with all this stuff...I know I need counseling..but I also need to get this stuff out of here..Ive had panic attacks over going through all this stuff...I'm wondering do any of you know any foundations..organizations..numbers i could call to figure out what i can do with all this stuff....Some things i want to sell so that i can have money to move..I don't know where..there are old cd's..old cassettes..there are tons of old albums in my house...I need help badly...Does anyone know what i can do..

2 comments:

  1. First of all, take a deep breath! These things are not your aunt or your mother. Find something that signafies them to you....a necklace or a ring or something to keep that you can look at, and have all those great feelings of things you did togeather. Wear them while you are going through the items you have from them. Know that they never would have wanted to leave you if they had the choice. Chronic disease is a challenge to even the strongest person.
    Sort stuff into donate, throw out, sell and keep piles. Get the throw out stuff gone as soon as possible becuase it's just in the way. A lot of the medical stuff is worth good money so post it on Ebay for local pick-up only. Then you don't have to ship it anywhere. (Just make sure someone is with you when someone comes to pick-up anything for safety reasons)
    I don't know of any organisations in the US, but here in Canada, we do donations through Hospitals, Salvation Army, St Vincent de Paul, and a number of other organizations like the Arthritis Society and the Canadian Cancer Society. They use it for patients or sell it in a garage sale.

    Take it slow. Decide one which room to start in, and maybe do 1 room a week. You are in control, and you can do it!Don't let yourself get overwhelmed, take a walk away if you need to!
    I Love you my friend, and I wish I was closer so I could help.

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  2. I'm so sorry to hear you are going thru such a rough time right now. I see you are catholic. Have you contacted your parish/church about maybe giving you some help or get an idea where you can go with these things? They may also be a good solution for some free counseling if you feel that would benefit you.
    I'm sorry I'm half way across the country and can't help you. Be strong! If nothing else, I am sure you can contact social services in your area and maybe they can help you.....XX I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

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